A thing called life (Ligo Haibun)

Ligo Haibun Challenge – 01/11-07/11

Hello friends and readers,today make my debut in another new arena-the Haibun. Encouraged and gently guided by none other than Managua Gunn,am ready to take my first tentative steps in this genre of writing.The picture prompt for this Haibun is below-

Picture

Hope my submission below is not too disappointing 😛

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A thing called life

 

She shivered. “Is it the autumn chill or the chill in my heart? Or maybe I am getting old!” She smiled ruefully at that thought.

 

Fitting a lifetime of memories in cardboard boxes and packing cases is not an easy task but he managed to go through the paces. With the last bit of memory rolled up and packed away, the house resonated with an emptiness that had made its home in his heart, the night it all ended.

 

Life is so like seasons, she mused .Everything is same, yet all is new. Only our perspective changes, just like the leaves changing colour. Nature shows us the way, but we human beings resist change.

 

Standing outside on the busy road, he looked up and for a moment saw her at the window, leaning out and laughing .His blinked his eyes. His treacherous heart was playing tricks-again. The once familiar neighbourhood, felt so alien today.  It seemed just yesterday, when he had carried her in and gently set her down in the hallway of their new home. How her eyes had sparkled, proud and happy to be beside him.

 

Promises really don’t mean anything, do they, her mind probed. We just trade words for possible dreams, probable hopes, for a future unseen. Just like the tree has no idea which of the leaves will change colour in autumn or be the first to detach itself, none of us know what will stop breathing first-a relationship or life..

 

Their life had been so full-of love, of happiness, of unbridled joy and all because they were together. The children, when they came brought in their share of blessings, which just strengthened their bond. What he did not foresee was the cruel blow that fate was planning, for he was bewitched by lady luck’s limitless bounty.

 

The evening gloom had begun to permeate the garden outside, she observed.Within, the icy tentacles of despair were curling around her hapless heart. Counting slowly to ten, she eased her breathing and told herself, “Don’t be a ninny! You need to be strong. You have to tell him that you are leaving-he deserves that much!”

 

Why she kept it a secret till the last moment, he failed to understand. She had always been so open. He had panicked and chaos had ensued. He felt betrayed-it was so unfair…he had had no time to even grieve her loss…

 

Flurry of seasons

momentary joy-deaf to

the tolling death knell

 

Image

 

 

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31 thoughts on “A thing called life (Ligo Haibun)

  1. For you first attempt Atreyee you have done very well. Lovely haiku, the haibuns are always a challenge as you try to write in the moment, and it is never easy. But congratulations on joining the haibun challenge.

    • Aww Summer,you are so supportive-thank you my friend :-)Am glad it struck a right chord and just saw that even CD has a Haibun challenge in the offing-of course,it will get tougher with the new rules but am raring to go:-)Yes,you are right-I am not an abstract thinker or a profound one-so more challenging for me:-)

  2. This is so rich – in writing style, ideas and presentation. Three lines jump out that are real philosophy; life like seasons,nature showing us the way, and not knowing what will stop first..Your haiku fits seamlessly, giving the essence – dramatically, I really enjoyed reading this haibun. It was original, but kept to a haibun format, and it swept me along with the deep, heavy end. I have had one or two bruising encounters with one or two haibuns I wasn’t keen on, and would not say what I dd about yours if it was not heartfelt. Well done, welcome on board – we do have an anthology planned, more about that in due course.

    • Oh boy,am dancing the jig now!Thank you,thank you,thank you Pirate-am so happy that I did not fall flat on my face:-)Can’t believe that it fitted the scene-wow!Thank you for the gentle nudge and the oodles of support -am soaring now 😀 Also saw that CD has a new Haibun challenge lined up-of course it is more structured,so I will have a tougher time attempting it,but will keep at it-learning was never easy,was it? Thanks for the warm welcome and the beautiful compliments- can’t tell you how glad I am that I listened to you:-)Waiting for the anthology:-)

      • It is entirely your effort – you deserve the feeling! Please keep going, haibun is great. The anthology means collecting a selection of best pieces from this challenge and elsewhere and putting them in it, so am looking for haibun to put in. You mentioned a second one, hope you feel confident enough to post sometime!

      • Oh,that feels so lovely-thank you for the warm reception ,once again Pirate:-)(Can’t get myself to call you Managua -as yet,lol).Yes,am familiar with anthology as a term but am keen to see how you will bring it to play here:-)Re,my second piece-will post it separately after I finish designing my Halloween room(FB game-not real) -dead line in a few hours.Also have to post my Trifecta piece(which has been waiting patiently in my folder since last night).Today evening & tomorrow are going to be busy days as Diwali-the festival of lights-a huge festival in India is on:-)So much to do-so little time-sigh!

  3. Must admit I really enjoyed your first attempt, Atreyee. Original, with both stories unfolding at the same time but not interfering at all. I like the way you lead me to the essence of it, those hints that can almost be felt on the back of my mind but yet I don’t know for sure. Very well written, so real. And a haiku that in the end wraps up all the emotions perfectly.
    Not a drop of disappointment, I promise 🙂

    • Oh,wow!Am thrilled by your warm compliments Ese:-)So,so happy to be a part of this wonderful learning experience!The last line of your comment made me chuckle and then give a whoop of joy-hee! 😀 Thanks a ton!!

  4. I do love the back and forth aspect of this, from one to the other. I’m no haibun expert and of course there are ‘rules’, but I think this was a lovely piece, very soft and gentle, despite the theme of grief.

    • Thank you so much Freya-yes there are rules but this challenge was more “loosely” structured and that gave me a little more leeway and as a beginner I could at least attempt it:-)

  5. Pingback: The Weekly Haibun Challenge Is Out! | Tea with a Pirate

  6. This is a wonderful haibun Atreyee … very emotional and strong feelings caught in a love-story with a black ribbon around it … and your haiku is great and so in tune with the haibun.

    Namaste

    • Thank you Sun-you always have such lovely ,warm words for my amateur writing-I appreciate your support more than I can say.I will be coming by today to read your posts-was too tired to do any more reading last night:-)

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