Carpe Diem-Distillation #5

Carpe Diem’s Distillation #5, Ezra Pound’s ”The River-Merchant’s Wife”

For this challenge we have to write a distilled haiku, senryu, tanka or kyoka inspired by the poem by Ezra Pound as given below-a tough challenge!

 

While my hair was still cut straight across my forehead
I played about the front gate, pulling flowers.
You came by on bamboo stilts, playing horse,
You walked about my seat, playing with blue plums.
And we went on living in the village of Chokan:
Two small people, without dislike or suspicion.

At fourteen I married My Lord you.
I never laughed, being bashful.
Lowering my head, I looked at the wall.
Called to, a thousand times, I never looked back.

At fifteen I stopped scowling,
I desired my dust to be mingled with yours
Forever and forever and forever.
Why should I climb the lookout?

At sixteen you departed,
You went into far Ku-to-en, by the river of swirling eddies,
And you have been gone five months.
The monkeys make sorrowful noise overhead.

 


You dragged your feet when you went out.
By the gate now, the moss is grown, the different mosses,
Too deep to clear them away!
The leaves fall early this autumn, in wind.
The paired butterflies are already yellow with August
Over the grass in the West garden;
They hurt me. I grow older.
If you are coming down through the narrows of the river Kiang,
Please let me know beforehand,
And I will come out to meet you
As far as Cho-fo-Sa.
 
 
I have attempted a Tanka for this distillation challenge.Not pleased with the result but then am still learning:-)
 

Autumn approaches
a young wife waiting,ages
fading memories
the pain of loneliness hurts
heart eager for reunion

Image

 
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12 thoughts on “Carpe Diem-Distillation #5

    • Thank you for the positive feedback:-)I appreciate your coming by to read MD and I agree ,they definitely are good practice-I only wish we had more time-it is past 4 a.m here and I am still here-must say GN-have to be up in 3 hours 😛 Tc & God Bless 🙂

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