Carpe Diem -Back to it’s roots #3 “Waka”

CARPE DIEM GOES BACK TO IT’S ROOTS #3 ”WAKA”

 

At CD,our dear host Kristjaan has come up with a real tough challenge this time.This is what he says-

The goal of this episode of Carpe Diem’s Goes Back to It’s Roots is to choose a waka, you can find a lot of them on the Internet, and re-do that waka into a haiku. The haiku has to follow the classical rules as there are:

  1. 5-7-5 syllables
  2. a moment as short as the sound of a pebble thrown into water
  3. a keriji or cuttingword
  4. a kigo or seasonword
  5. the poet him/herself is not present in the haiku
  6. and objectivity ” 

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I have chosen the following waka to rewrite as a Haiku.

Love (3) KKS 656. Komachi.
  utsutsu ni wa In the waking world
  sa mo koso arame you must, I suppose, take care,
  yume ni sae but how it pains me
  hitome o moru to that you should keep out of sight
  miru ga wabishisa even in the realm of dreams.

 

My revised Haiku-

Separate lives lived
autumn’s glow brings no warmth
in dreams- of winter

(Atreyee)

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8 thoughts on “Carpe Diem -Back to it’s roots #3 “Waka”

  1. you and i chose the same writer, Komachi! your Waka to haiku really smooth – i can imagine the pain of the separate life and coldness in the relationship. really nice. ☺

    • Oh you did?I must go & read-definitely tomorrow-am comparatively free during the day:-)And thanks,you are so supportive Sun-I really appreciate it more than than I can say xx

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