The reluctant warrior

Write at the Merge

Writing Prompt: Week 2

The Low-Down:

  • 500 word limit
  • linky is open until Thursday, January 16, at 11:55pm Pacific
  • Use the quote as an opening/closing line, draw inspiration from it, or choose the photo instead.
  • Use the photo, or stick with the quote.
  • Use both if you are so inclined!
  • Please read at least the link on either side of yours (last linker? read the first one)
  • Please comment where you read. If you are comfortable giving constructive criticism, feel free. If not, tell the writer something about the experience of reading their piece. This community’s goals are to support, nurture, and challenge our writers.

***

“The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.”
~ L. P. Hartley: The Go-Between (1953)

Image courtesy of Unsplash.

                                           Image courtesy of Unsplash.

This is my first time writing for “Write at the merge”.I chose the photo above for my story.Hope the story is enjoyable.(500 words including the title).

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

The reluctant warrior

 

“Be careful Jovian. This is your last chance.”

That had been his Commander cautioning him as he left their pod.

Jovian stepped up to the edge of the forest.

Nothing moved.

It was eerily quiet.

Yet, he could feel eyes watching him.

When he looked down he could see nothing except a serpentine grey rope like thing stretching endlessly between the clump of blackened trees and dead bushes.

Jovian’s job was to travel through time and conquer new territories and colonize them. This was his 5th such assignment and if he failed again, he would be vaporized.

He hated being a time warrior. His dream was to be a trooper of love but he had materialized in the warrior unit and thus had no say. His Commander was good and had tried to shield his birth defect from enquiring eyes but now it was do or vaporize…

Morosely, he stepped forward and immediately found his feet ensnared in the grey vine and before he could react, he was hanging by his feet.

Jovian opened his eyes and met the most beautiful violet blue eyes. His green eyes saw a girl with ivory skin and a pair of blue gossamer wings, crinkling up her nose at him. In spite of his captivity, Jovian had to laugh.

She was just a girl and he was a warrior-even if not a successful one! Did she think she could hold him up here?

With a twist of his arms, he freed himself and stood next to the girl.

The girl seemed unperturbed. She gestured for him to follow her and took to the air.

Intrigued, Jovian followed her into the forest.

After about an hour’s walk, they reached a waterfall.

The girl alighted beside him and led him into the cool, refreshing water. Jovian stepped in with trepidation and was taken aback by what he saw beyond.

A whole Universe of amazing beings-some magical, others beautiful, many  looked beastly, some  seemed ugly, a lot were tiny while others were giants but all co-existed peacefully and looked happy. No one wanted to hurt anyone, no one seemed irritated or angry.

“My name is Aara”, the girl said in a voice dipped with honey.

Aara and Jovian became inseparable and as days became weeks and weeks turned into months, Jovian easily adapted to the new life. He forgot about his mission, his roots and began living for love.

When Jovian proposed to Aara she just smiled and told him, “Wait. It is not time yet.”

Tonight Jovian woke up to find himself curled up in a ball, shivering all over.

 ”Aara!”, he called out.

He felt her flutter down beside him softly.

He stretched and felt something unfurl behind him.

He was mesmerized to see that he had grown a pair of silvery red wings.

“Welcome home, my love,” smiled Aara and time stood still.

Jovian finally understood why his heart had yearned to be a trooper of love. Love was his destiny.

Image

 

                                         ————————————————-X———————————————–

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “The reluctant warrior

  1. Oh, I loved this story and especially the ending. I’m a sucker for happy endings:~) But, the nice thing about this one, is I didn’t expect it and this made it all the better! This story was well written and an easy read. You kept me moving through the story without pause or delay. In addition, in very few words you made your characters come alive for me, as a reader.

    I am so glad I stopped by to read this one:~) Sara, A Sharing Connection

    • And Sara you just made my week-am smiling!I was so afraid that I had botched up the whole piece-your amazing comment has put my fears to rest.Am so touched by your warmth-thank you so much!Tc & God bless xx

      • Nothing botched here at all, Atreyee – this is a beautiful story with great details and a sweet, unexpected love story and happy ending. And he thought he was in the wrong place… So lovely to read your words again.

  2. I am so glad he was not vaporized. There’s something to be said for him keeping the hope of love in his heart and not succumbing to the heart of a warrior.

    • Thanks Janna-glad you caught on to that;-)Thanks for coming by to read -like always-I have been having health probs this year-hopefully -the rest of the year will be better-so feeling tired and not up to many challenges-reading has taken a back seat-but will try to catch up with your posts in a day or two,tc & love you xx

  3. Nicely done.

    My concrit, should you decide to revisit this piece in the future, would be to keep an eye on those -ly adverbs. They’re distracting when used in abundance, and they tell what’s going on instead of show.

    Also, most people don’t talk about their own eye color unless they’re looking in a mirror. I would skip the “His green eyes” part of the scene since it makes the POV a bit mushy. If it’s critical for the reader to know, find a different way to introduce his eye color. Maybe he catches his reflection in a pool of water and is disappointed at how murky the green appears to be on this planet. Have it be either a source of pride or a source of consternation so you’re not bringing up eye colors without purpose.

    That’s all I got though. I love the concept and the charm packed into this tale. Well done!

    • Thank you for coming by to read and comment Shelton:-)Many thanks for the concrit too-will try to keep that in mind next time-English not being my native tongue,I tend to make these mistakes as in my native tongue we use a lot of adverbs & adjectives 😛 Have not been writing for that long-about 10 months-so will get there by and by ,with a lil help from seasoned writers like you:-)Appreciate your taking time to help me out-thanks again:-)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s