The promise

Friday Fictioneers

Yay!Finally it is Wednesday!So what is so great about it you say?Ah,but unless you are a FF junkie like me and have missed a week  for any reason-mine being  ill-health-you would not understand 🙂 You see our wonderful hostess with the mostest,lovely and super talented writer Rochelle has created a magical world for flash fiction writers at FF.Every week,over hundred writers from around the globe,hop,skip and jump to weave 100 word tales based on a photo prompt.If you are a story teller too  or love to read stories,do check  this cool site by clicking on this URL  http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers-2/ .I promise you will be hooked forever:-)

This week, the photo is by DLovering and my 101 words,including the title follow the photo.

 

dee-2 (2)

copyright – DLovering

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The promise

 

Last minute decorations were being added.

 

Excitement permeated the wedding venue.

 

 The Bride felt nothing except anxiety.

 

 She loved another.

 

The bridegroom arrived amid loud fanfare.

 

Everyone rushed to welcome them.

 

The Bride clutched the phial of poison tightly. He had promised…

 

Suddenly the gaiety was disrupted by a band of masked men on horses.

 

They fired.

 

Bandits!!

 

People screamed.

 

The gang leader scooped the bride up on his horse.

 

As they rode across the border, the bride hugged the Bandit.

 

 “I was so afraid.”

 

“You needn’t have. I never break a promise,” replied her lover, hugging her back.

 

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114 thoughts on “The promise

  1. Zebe, there’s an old Mexican custom like that even in use today (must have gotten it from the Spanish). I like this because it has the very flavor of the Latin culture. You captured it perfectly.

    ¡Viva a los novios! Y la historia es ¡brillante! (Long live the couple and the story is brilliant).

    • Oh my,really?Just goes to show truth is not so far from fiction and vice-versa! I did have a Spanish “Bandit”(Zorro?)in mind when the so called abduction took place ;-)I guess the world is really not so big as we like to think,eh?Thank you so much for stopping by and for leaving this uplifting comment Wmq 🙂
      Atreyee

    • :-)Thank you Janet and not to worry,she threw the poison away-she had just kept !t in case her lover failed to rescue her from that unwanted marriage-now,no more poison-only ambrosia -of love!Ha!ha!

  2. A dash of romance… being whisked away by a bandit on horseback…. what happened with the poison though…. did she use it? Always a touch of ‘murder’… at least almost….p.s. you were going to email me … ?? no need though if you’d rather not… Diane

    • Hi Diane!My apologies-my net went down for 3 days and now with WP changing its look I don’t know if I am coming or going-after a struggle of few hours I can finally see the notifications-can you please give me your email id once again-will definitely mail you.

      Ha!ha!Seems my readers are too used to my murderous ways-no this time the poison was for her own use in case her lover failed to arrive-she had no wish to marry the other fellow-she threw it away once she was “rescued” 🙂

    • No,they did not believe in shedding blood-their guns frightened the wedding guests and groom enough 😉 Thank you El,so pleased that you enjoyed my little story:-)

  3. Aw, a sweet romance where everyone lived! (all happily ever after, except maybe the almost-groom 🙂 ) That’s a curious photo and I like the story you conjured using it for the setting.

  4. An exciting tale of love and betrayal. Should I feel a little sorry for the groom? I kind of do, unless he was a bad guy. I wonder, was she going to kill him or herself or both? I’m glad it had half a happy ending, at least for her and her lover. 🙂

    • Thanks so much Lisa:-)Yes,poor groom-I agree with you Lisa-I too felt sorry-had I had more words I would have added an Indian touch-that he was marrying her for the rich dowry she was bringing and thus make him not so likeable;-)She meant to kill herself with that poison in case she was forced to marry the guy and her lover failed to appear as promised.

    • Ha!ha!Sarah-no the poison was not meant for the hapless groom at all-she meant to take it in case her paramour failed to arrive on time-an escape:-)Thanks so much for stopping by to read and comment

  5. My heartbeat hastened when I read the line about the poison. So glad she didn’t have to use it. Seems a white knight arrived to save the day. We will always long for the bad boys won’t we?

  6. Ah–a Zoro-esque hero and a happy ending. The phial of poison had me nervous. Cute tale although it’s been told before. To draw readers in at the beginning, I would recommend incorporating action right away instead of simply telling what is happening. You could even leave more room for the action or the romance instead of setting the stage that we could have seen without that first line.

    I wish these adventuring lovers all the best.

    Kind regards,
    Marie Gail

    • Yep,charged as guilty Marie :-)Thank you so much for coming by to read and give a detailed feedback-I really appreciate it.You know I have been trying to do what you have rightly pointed out but failing miserably-that English is my third language is not helping either.Could you be a sweetie and rewrite this in “show,don’t tell” format as you have pointed out-maybe I will get an idea and can try it next time?However, if you are too busy to take time out ,I will understand-thank you again and hopefully with time and with a little help from well meaning friends who know the art ,I will improve 🙂

  7. A wonderful romance! I was worried when she had the poison- my mind switched to Romeo and Juliet, and I felt we were headed for tragedy. The way you wrote this just made it so easy to visualize, and the scene with the bandits was intense. I loved the happy ending and am glad you tapped into the sweetheart within you! 😀

    • Aww,thank you for the sweet and supportive comment Adelie-am still learning :-)The poison was intended for herself but when her lover arrived,she did not need it anymore-so threw it away:-)

  8. It’s amazingly written . So crisp and so clear . Could imagine the scene very well relating to the movies of 80’s and 90’s that we saw in our childhood days 🙂
    Thanks for visiting my blog and for your lovely comment 🙂

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